Ben Barren - Confessions of a Mad Man

Tag Archives: telstra

Fulcrum Evil; Leslie Nassar 140 Character Dooced; The Intersect May Not Be Safe.

Posted by Ben Barren on March 26, 2009 – 9:16 am

Filed under Recession

General Beckman Debrief.

We have a Code Red breaking issue of national importance; About 90 minutes ago, Leslie Nassar : Australia’s first social media (faux) celebrity @stephenconroy was caught up to by Fulcrum operatives and decommissioned. It was relatively painless, he had got off a plane 36 minutes earlier being none the wiser to the news, altho there had been leaks from Fulcrum which had alerted him; “Just landed in Sydney. If I have been fired, nobody has told me about it.“

We are sill trying to ascertain whether The Intersect has fallen into Fulcrum’s hands. It is indeed worrying : “Fulcrum was responsible for the operation that prompted Bryce Larkin to destroy the First Intersect^[2]. On another mission, one of their agents (posing as a pita delivery girl) discovered that Chuck Bartowski had the intersect in his brain. She didn’t have time to tell her superiors^[3]. Fulcrum also hired mercenaries, led by Mr. Colt, to break into the NSA labs and steal the cypher, a new artificial brain for the second intersect. Fulcrum was also responsible (perhaps indirectly) for sabotaging the cypher^[4]Fulcrum’s ulltimate goal with the Intersect is unknown, but it has been implied through conversations with hem that they believe they are protecting the governent by using it themselves. Furthermore, one agent, when accused by Casey of being a traitor, claims they are patriots.”

It is now expected that Fulcrum will stop at nothing to exterminate all social media. There is a system override which we believe Orion put in place for this situation, that will result in the self-destruction of the whole system. We suspect the Codename : Internet Clean Filter, is indeed a virus in every Australian household that will be turned into a Zombie Attack resembling Shaun of the Dead. iPrimus an alpha tester is a known Fulcrum associate.

It was time we got Leslie Nassar out of the Buymore. He is under instructions to keep his cover, and bring down Fulcrum by any means necessary.

It is possible we will have to let Fulcrum believe that Leslie is alive and working for them : “Yes, let’s all “go ahead”. We all want better things, and as (redacted’s hehe i just wanted to use redacted) CEO, I’ll make sure that we have more better things than anyone else.”

Leslie the double agent spook : Fulcrum CEO

For now, we will need to send Leslie to the lockdown underground Code Red bunker. Hopefully he wont have to stay there for 20 years like Bartowski. It’s for his own protection, we don’t want that aggressive contractor from HR outplacement, doing an exit interview : “So how do you feel about your time at Fulcrum, and the manner by which you are leaving ?” 360 interview my ass. Oh well Leslie, it’s not often u get to substantially affect the stock price of a major criminal organisation such as Fulcrum.

It is important for Mr Nassar to watch out for any out of work actors from the Lethal Weapon set of movies. They are actually Fulcrum hit men.

We have already lost good men Mr Leslie Nassar AKA Fake @StephenConroy. Do not let Fulcrum get you : Even if u have to live your life on the run, it is better than letting The Intersect getting into the wrong hands.

We dont think the Buy More is safe at present; We are establishing a safe perimeter at Crazy Johns in Cabramatta - I’m sure we can find you some work there in order to keep up the cover. This is another sad day for Australia’s uncompetitive telecommunications, internet and innovation related industries. Soon Fulcrum will be broken up into wholesale and retail, there will be a competitive Acacia network, and we will place our own people (thats you Mr Conroy) into the running of Fulcrum. We will then be in control of both sides. And social media consultants can be hired for peanuts to say anything.

This message will selfdestruct in 5 seconds. Remember, every1 is involved.

“Playtime is over… It’s time for you to become a spy.” -General Beckman

Bye Sol + Ripoff #Helstra $150/gig vs Internode topups : $1.5-$2.5 per gig; iPrimus $4-$6/gig

Posted by Ben Barren on February 26, 2009 – 11:39 am

Filed under Recession, Sneaker_Freakers

lebowski-past

So thx gawd the amigos at Telstra are finishing 1 year early; June 30 this year we are free and hopefully the 15c a megabyte ripoff internet will stop.

- Telstra’s biggest plan is 60 gig when in US unlimited/200gig plans are for light/medium users. Heavy users do 1 terabyte-ish - So 60gig on Telstra ADSL2+ users go thru it quickly then they keep using it or are shaped. Telstra is pretty fast being The Wholesale Parent Pimp Daddy It’s Al Mine Mine Mine Network which means their from under a gig (ru fkn kdding me) to (still miles too small) 60gig can go in a couple days.. whether it’s grown children visiting (grand)parents over summer, or watching YouTube clips, legal Underbelly downloads, ABC I-View etc - Or worse as people on Whirlpool find out when they leave their wifi unsecured or bittorrent client open. Then the multimonth #helstra begins. Just go with internode or day i say it primus. (200 gig for $80 if u r in city which i cant get unfortunately on primus) Telstra need to upgrade the internet plans every 6 months… the internet changes and 60gig is not enough.

#Helstra - $150 per gig Fn WOW - Just One of Many Case Studies

- Suck people in thru half price for 6 months via ‘discount’ bundling. Otherwise known as heavyarming monopolistic should be illegal anti-competition, but if u r consumer, its easier and cheaper for 6 months, well um until the fine print 15c a meg plus online meter doesnt work if u change the plan u r on mid month and helstra fks u.

- Telstra unlike nearly every other ISP dont have “topups” so u r either shaped or pay 15c a meg when over plan

- Just read The Large Excess Bill Thread on Whirlpool and realise it’s just the tip of the iceberg as the large % of people just paid the unfair bill or settled for an amount still 100x what Internode charge for additional usage or ignored it and got their credit history wrecked.

- Simple economics : Internode topups : $1.5-$2.5 per gig; iPrimus $4-$6/gig; Telstra is $150/gig (15c per meg)

- Online meter at Bigpond.com is busted if customer changes their ISP plan midmonth which Telstra conceed but not officially by giving u one excessive bill or major discount if u yell alot for along time at them : Ill just find the scan of that $3K bill on a $60 monthly plan (but Whirlpool is full of these cases) which for the whole month the usage was within normal zone according to the Bigpond online meter. So far Telstra have conceeded 5/6ths of bill… but still Telecommunication ombudsman needs to crack down further - $150 per gig... That makes a 1.4gig reasonable resolution movie cost $220. Hullo.. or goodbye Sol take yer tens of millions.

- If u choose a plan eg 25gig plan has shaping not 15c charge that can work for awhile.. but then u need internet : So u cant topup - but lets say u have to coz u need internet to work and with shaping its 4k a second and doesnt work. So u want to change up to a plan (unless u want more than 60gig then u r fkd) But dont do it after 9-5pm or 9-9pm - As there needs to be technical and billing staff available. On Primus u can topup at anytime of the day 24-7 and better yet u can loginto iprimus account and topup in a few clicks without needing a billing or technical person there. Ironically when Helstra shape u their bigpond graphics of that stoopid family on the TV ads takes ages to load, so slow in fact it doesnt load at all (waited 5 minutes at least), so u need to drive to a mcdonalds with wifi and use yer bigpond account for internet there.. But even then u cant get yer account changed immediately it takes many hours or often a day. Its amazing helstra. By then forget about your powerpoint presentation u have to email tomorrow to win that account. It’s a recession no1 incl Sol is working anyway. (Even if Sol did get a few tens of million$ from aussie tax payers)

Anyway, glad to see Sol go… What I meant to press publish on before the #helstra rant was the Polyvore set below while I was watching the series finale of Leverage, a real grower of a fun show, and also checked out Mistresses a 5m UK rating, kinda female UK version of Californication if I can make such a statement. Before Polyvore some random daily links :

- Perez Hilton doing 14m page views in one day, (via RyanSpoon.com) not a bad effort.. being 2/3rds of whole of wordpress traffic : I wonder how much traffic wordpress blogs (self and shared hosted) would do ? Must be mammoth…

- Inquisitr has the rundown on Mid Level Website Acquisition : “Online media company Internet Brands acquired four sites in the 4th quarter for a total cost of $2.8 million. The company also said in its 4th quarter and yearly results release (published at PaidContent) that it had made two small acquisitions this year, and was planning on announcing a new vertical at the end of the first quarter of 2009. The 4th quarter acquisitions mark a slow down in acquisitions for Internet Brands, with the total number for 2008 coming in at 29 sites for a total cost of $62.6 million.. The four sites acquired in the fourth quarter, with their Alexa rank today were: CVTips.com (16,941), Groovejob.com (51,883), Steve’s Digicams (14,524) and SellMyCar.com (141,611).” - Dunc or any1 with knowledge or a guess, what is the business model of the acquirer ? Do they produce profit/dividend ? Or is it a trade sale or even IPO exit strategy ?

- Eddie McGuire up’ere : This Magpie sometimes flys up bout 3 feet from my computer on the balcony. It badly wanted my cheese and tomato on rye sandwich yday, Would not leave no matter how much shooing ! What would The Dude do ?

- @DHughesy - Mr David Hughes, continues to absolutely tear Twitter up. Without full AFL season having started, Hughesy is enjoying all day twittering for real. It’s rare celebrities do that for real. He even has had his wife Holly Ife (whose book club i learn almost read Oscar Wao) - AKA Herald Sun Reporter (username @holly_jane) join, while they only have one laptop to share so they were alternating who used it to twitter, then went to bed at 845pm. Hughesy really must keep alot of money under his bed, altho he likes joking on radio he couldnt/wouldnt afford/buy shares his whole life and he entered market basically at top a few years ago and has only gone one way, south and fast. But still a good problem - having lots of $$$. Either way the pregnant with 2 pets St Kilda comedy/reporting couple are winning twitterers new and hardcore over, that’s rare. And all they had to do was invest time, do lots of updates, be yerself, give away CD’s and mention twitter for group affirmation on the daily radio show.

@DHughesy + Wife @Holly_Jane are tearing Twitter up. When will @hamishandandy respond ? hehe

Back to the Fashion Set :

Anyway in the Polyvore set there is the Fred Perry Byron Grey, SS09 Common Projects Tournament Low, plus the perforated black canvas Tournament mids, an Alife White Leather Chukka, even a classic Nike Blazer Low in White, with Black Swoosh and what they call Rave Pink. What ever happened to Purple and there is a sample of the Supra Non Skating line Burgundy Pack, is that the Trinity trifecta or what ? And dont forget the past Rayban made in Italy, Kanye wearing Super sunnies.

Cricket Australia YouTube Channel + UnMetered ABC I-View.

Posted by BB on December 22, 2008 – 4:43 pm

Filed under Australia, Consumer_Internet, ISP

Cricket Australia launching a YouTube channel is an admission of the times. Rather than being an inch wide and a mile deep of Dennis Lillee content; Or even better - instructional Auskick for Cricket videos, by current or past Aussie cricketers : on how to bowl a googly, doosra, wicketkeep or score quick in 20/20 - We have a inch wide/inch deep handful of clips, the majority of which are 30 second TVC’s by the sponsors of cricket on TV. Cheesy.

And to think the ICC and ACB are scared shitless of the new Indian 20/20 cricketing ICL/IPL powerhouses - this isn’t exactly the best start in taking a different “grass-roots, do no evil, youth based” strategy to distinguish our great game from the greed based Indian appeal to gamblers and players. They should be looking at AFL’s Auskick program which is extremely strong (and with soccer preferred by many more kids and parents these days) AFL + Aust Football Federation/A-League arent sitting on their laurels.

But heck, something is better than nothing, and having got internal approval for a YouTube channel, navigating content licensing issues (which probably explains why there is no content there, the ACB probably have no rights to any of their content digitally:) - is a hard battle to fight. With user generated contentits not the worst strategy to build the channel, and the user generated content will come; Backyard cricket and a Flip video camera anyone ? Will need to check back in and see if it becomes a destination other than to watch the latest cheesy 3 Mobile Phone B-List cricketer appearance TVC. The A-List after all is playing in India on 7 figure contracts for a few weeks work.

Listening to when Cricket is Next on : ABC Online GrandStand has live audio stream of the Aust vs South Africa test matches, with the Aussies 1 down, should be a cracker. Another good ABC web service. Its great to see the ABC I-View Online Video Streaming (modelled on success of BBC equivalent) be increasingly unmetered by telcos (iprimus, Internode) Now if Australia was to be serious what we would have is Lachlan Murdoch’s company funding an equivalent of Hulu.com (Which was private equity funded) and we could watch Ch7-9-10 TV programming for free, ad supported. If there is one thing that’s annoying it’s that Hulu.com georetarded 404 equivalent message which tells u u arent in the United States. So give us our hulu equivalent already.

The ABC’s director of innovation, Ian Carroll : “The ABC experience of iView has been that ISP customers can’t wait to use a TV service like iView if they do not have to worry about metered usage,” he said. “We also see this in the UK where the BBC’s iPlayer has had a major impact on television viewing habits. Most UK ISP’s and telcos offer iPlayer viewing unmetered. “Here in Australia, the statistics are equally compelling: ISP’s who offer iView unmetered have a six times greater share of iView usage,” said Carroll.

As usual it’s great to see Telstra supporting Australians, with Australian content and signing up as an unmetered ISP for ABC iView, NOT! Telstra is nowhere to be seen; Telstra prefers to charge Aussies 15c a meg, yes 15c a meg if it’s not shaping em, for when they go over their plan. So go 13 gig over with Internode and at $15 for 10 gig topup : You are up for $20 : Working from a real_life vclose to home example where 13 gig over with Telstra resulted in a bill of $2100+ : Even though Telstra’s online usage meter said the account was within acceptable/normal 60 gig half price $70 monthly bill amount. (the type of account changed during month from 60g to 25g but the usage meter on telstra dashboard couldnt quite handle updating itself thinking it was still a 60gig account)

BigPoint : So if u r on Bigpond and want to watch ABC iView Telstra will be quite happy to bill you thousands of dollars to watch it at 800kps… (Telstra’s speeds are very fast BTW which is great at the time.. but when u can download a gig in 30 minutes… it only takes overnight leaving your wifi on and someone ripping a 8gig BluRay version of Dark Knight and u r up for $1500.. what would Heath think ? Lets hope his uncle doesnt get any ideas…) Now look at much more reasonable internode top up prices below.. no wonder they won award for best customer service ISP in Australia :

Internode is 100 times cheaper than Telstra for Top Ups !

Have you received an unfair Telstra Bigpond Internet Bill : Click the link, Contact the Telecommunication Ombudsman on 1800 062 058, who are far from happy about Telstra’s 15 cents a meg plan and lack of communication thereof. And as always, for the best internet in Australia always choose internode where possible. In effect Internode pricing below is 100 times cheaper than Telstra, what a joke. (i recalculated on excel 5 times because i thought i must be wrong, surely telstra cant be that evil, but yes… it’s true… so if u visit your parents over xmas/new year and they have a $70 a month 200-700 meg plan… watch out if u use facebook.. because your parents will end up with a special multi-thousand$ bill… and it will end up having been cheaper to go to Palazzo Versace Hotel on the Gold Coast!) And the great thing with Telstra, unlike all other ISPs u cant even buy any top ups… and some accounts not others… charge u the 15c per meg excess, others shape u, no rhyme or reason. No wonder Telecommunication Ombudsman is after’em.